Scott McCall

[The video clicks on, and Scott looks better than he has in a month. There's no perpetual droop to his shoulders, no hooded eyes, no cloud of doubt hanging on him. And what's more, he's not in his room, where he kind of ended up barricading himself at the end there. He is, in fact, in the Enclosure, standing on a lacrosse field. And he's smiling. It's small, a little apologetic, but very present.]

So last month....uh, it sucked. A lot. And I just want to say, to everyone I talked to or should have talked to, that I'm sorry. [His smile turns in a way that says he knows it wasn't strictly his fault, and he's not going to beat himself up over it, but he does wish he'd been able to beat it sooner.]

But I think we should all try to get past that, like, as quickly as possible, and I know there are some new people on board, so...Does anyone want to play lacrosse? We've still got a bunch of room on both teams. It's great for things like, working out aggression and...figuring out tactics? [Scott, never become a salesman.]

Plus, it's a ton of fun.

[He has resolved to be better and more available and throw some unrelenting optimism at everyone, look out Barge!!]

[Private to Clementine]

Hey. Um - I just, I want to apologize. For being so totally and completely useless. It's not gonna happen again.

[Because he's going to be better. He'll be stronger. Because he can't let anyone down again, and most importantly, he can't let anything happen to her.]

Wanna get something to eat?

[Private to Dean]

Hey, uh, I dunno if you don't want to hear it, but....thanks. I couldn't...I wasn't thinking straight. But I'm really glad you were there for her.

[Good job being a friend, Dean, now let Scott ooze gratitude.]

[Private to Cassel]

I've been thinking.

[He's been thinking about this on and off for a while, ever since Cassel and Chris got back from dinner at his mom's house. A lot of it is guilt: Mickey warned him, but Scott didn't go with. He let their heads get messed with.

But the part that bothers him most is that it was Cassel's mom. That she could be that twisted up, that she could do that to her own son. He knows how strongly Daneca felt about working, how she struggled with it, and the idea of someone - an adult, someone who should be completely trustworthy - not caring about it even half as much, has not sat well with him.

So he's been thinking about this a lot, because he wants to do something. Because he has to. Because Cassel is his friend, one of his best, and if he can do anything to make sure this won't ever happen again, then he has to do it.

Not to mention the other thing. Scott shrugs his shoulders.] ...About taking a trip back to your home.

[Private to Katniss]

I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I wasn't really thinking straight, when we met. Actually, I've been meaning to say hi for a while, I just....[He shrugs one shoulder apologetically.] Got distracted, I guess. I'm sorry.

[Private to pack + friends]

I'm going to be leaving the Barge for a bit. Just a day, two tops. I'll be back before you know it, but don't freak out if you can't find me for extra lacrosse practice or something.

[Okay. He learned from the last time. He doesn't have to apologize. That doesn't mean he's not struggling with the memories of what he did.

Scott's eyes aren't quite red rimmed, but he is far from relaxed. It's obvious he's broadcasting from the infirmary: there still some structural damage around as the Admiral slowly fixes things.]

I'm, um.

[Sorry sorry sorry sorry. He swallows it back, draws in a shaky breath.]

I'm in the infirmary. [He looks around over his shoulder.] Obviously. I know there's not a lot the doctors can do for people who are death tolling. But one of the things I learned at home can help. I can take away pain, when I touch people. So, I'll - I'll be here. I'l be around. Just let me know if you're hurting, and I'll make it better for a while.

[He doesn't mention that he takes the pain on himself. He hopes Stiles and Dean won't say anything, either. It feels like penance, though that's not the only reason he's offering. If he can help people and feel like he's scouring away his guilt, well...then he's going to.]

[Private to Peter]

You were right. I'm definitely thanking you after.

Are you okay?

[Spam for Stiles and Lydia]

[He's been at her bedside in the infirmary since they reappeared back on the Barge, waiting for her to wake up. He knows she will. Knows it deep in his gut, because the Admiral hasn't failed them like this. He won't leave her there, and he won't leave her dead.

There's a whisper of doubt in his thought, and he's doing the best he can to banish it. It leaves his throat and mouth dry, and he doesn't know what to do.

Looking over the bed at Stiles, he draws in breath to say something, anything, but he can't. It wasn't him, but he remembers tearing her throat out, he remembers Stiles' face when it happened, and he has to look down at his hands again.]