semifreakingnormal | Entries tagged with already regretting...everything

[The breach ends and Scott is exhausted, from the drifts and the new memories and the attacks. He doesn't want to think about how many people got hurt there, because it's impossible not to think of that place as real. There's another him somewhere, piloting a Jaeger with another Clementine, and they're both fighting for their lives.

He makes his way back to his bedroom and drops face first onto the bed, not realizing how long he's actually been asleep. That's where he'll be found, but the usual conga line of visitors. Except this time, he'll probably wake up when people start talking around him.]

[Public Video, later]

[Scott looks really weirded out. Like. Really. For a moment he just stares into the camera; it passes, and he shakes his head like he needs to physically clear it.]

Okay, so...I guess I was asleep for a while. Sorry, if that freaked anyone out. [A beat.] It's totally freaking me out.

Anyway, I'm back, so if anyone needs me, uh, I'm here? I guess I never actually left...[He mutters the last to himself, and decides to turn the feed off there before he starts babbling incoherently.]

[Private to Clementine]

How are you?

[It's not a lead in to something else. It's not just polite small talk. When he asks, he means it. He's worried about her, because in the unlikely chance she needed him, he wasn't awake to answer.]

[Okay. He learned from the last time. He doesn't have to apologize. That doesn't mean he's not struggling with the memories of what he did.

Scott's eyes aren't quite red rimmed, but he is far from relaxed. It's obvious he's broadcasting from the infirmary: there still some structural damage around as the Admiral slowly fixes things.]

I'm, um.

[Sorry sorry sorry sorry. He swallows it back, draws in a shaky breath.]

I'm in the infirmary. [He looks around over his shoulder.] Obviously. I know there's not a lot the doctors can do for people who are death tolling. But one of the things I learned at home can help. I can take away pain, when I touch people. So, I'll - I'll be here. I'l be around. Just let me know if you're hurting, and I'll make it better for a while.

[He doesn't mention that he takes the pain on himself. He hopes Stiles and Dean won't say anything, either. It feels like penance, though that's not the only reason he's offering. If he can help people and feel like he's scouring away his guilt, well...then he's going to.]

[Private to Peter]

You were right. I'm definitely thanking you after.

Are you okay?

[Spam for Stiles and Lydia]

[He's been at her bedside in the infirmary since they reappeared back on the Barge, waiting for her to wake up. He knows she will. Knows it deep in his gut, because the Admiral hasn't failed them like this. He won't leave her there, and he won't leave her dead.

There's a whisper of doubt in his thought, and he's doing the best he can to banish it. It leaves his throat and mouth dry, and he doesn't know what to do.

Looking over the bed at Stiles, he draws in breath to say something, anything, but he can't. It wasn't him, but he remembers tearing her throat out, he remembers Stiles' face when it happened, and he has to look down at his hands again.]

[The video clicks on and Scott looks juuuuuuuust a little (a lot) freaked out. He's also trying super hard to get that under control.]

So--

[He coughs, and tries for a deeper, I'm-totally-tough-and-shouldn't-be-messed-with voice.] So is it, like, normal for people to go turning themselves into zombies, or is this just a weird week?

[It totally doesn't work. He sounds exactly like a freaked out sixteen-year-old. Whoops. A freaked out sixteen-year-old with a small and very, very messy room in the background.]

Scott McCall

Entries tagged with already regretting...everything

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