semifreakingnormal | ( 012 ) Ω ( Video )

[He's been back about an hour, just sitting in his room. It's not that he doesn't want to be here. He does. He needs to be here, to make things right again, and still all he wants is to rewind the clock, to go back to weeks ago, before their darkness spilled out into the world. Everything had looked bright. Okay. And now...

Now he understands why Stiles didn't want him to go back. Nothing will be like it was. Not until he saves Allison.

And he can't do that by letting people think he isn't here. He gets up, splashes water on his face, stares at himself in the mirror until he thinks his expression is normal. It's close enough. Drying off, he goes back to sit on the bed and picks up the communicator. When it clicks on, he smiles, and it's still Scott underneath, even if it's not quite as bright. He's older, though, only a year but it feels longer. His hair is shorter, he looks stronger. He's trying to hide the rest, and doing a decent job of it. But only decent.]

Hey, guys. I'm back.

[He waves his free hand. Semi-awkward Scott McCall is still under the new haircut! And is that a tattoo peeking out from under his left sleeve?]

So, did I miss anything good? I think...I was a troll, the last flood. How long ago was that?

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[He snorts softly, collapsing onto his bed and gesturing at the opposite bed, the desk, wherever.]

A few days or a few more isn't going to make that much of a difference. Sorry, I know that's not what you're supposed to fucking say, but. That's the truth.

If you feel grief right, it's like someone carved a hole in your side and you're trying to patch it up with thin air. Time doesn't make as much of a difference as people think it does.

[He lets out a soft, hollow laugh, curling his hands together between his knees.]

That's exactly how it feels.

No offense, dude, but you suck at this.

I never said I didn't.

Hey, Scott.

[He tips his head to one side.]

Would it be, like, totally weird if I gave you a hug?

[He smiles, and it's a little pained, but genuine, too. Scott shakes his head.]

No. Maybe don't make a habit of it, though.

[Who is he kidding, hug him all the time.]

Yeah. No, I totally won't.

[He might. He's been told he gives good hugs, since he started giving hugs.]

[And this one he's been ready for since he first saw Scott on the network, all busted up on the inside and trying to hide it. Of all the people he knows, Scott is unequivocally the most deserving of hugs.]

[Cassel sits next to Scott on the other bed and wraps his arms around him tightly, squeezing. He doesn't mind being close, not anymore - not close to people he trusts. Resting his chin on Scott's shoulder, he closes his eyes, pats his back a little.]

[He doesn't say it's okay, or that it's going to be. Because it's not, and it won't. He's just there, quiet.]

[After a minute, he does say,] I won't tell if you gotta cry.

[Scott is good about hugs. He's good about touch in general: it's proof that you're there and proof that you're care, and he likes tangible proof. His arms come up to wrap around Cassel, and he laughs only a little at Cassel's offer. Only a little because he was making a concerted effort not to let his eyes grow wet. It's only half working.]

I'd totally deny it.

[His voice is thicker than he wants it to be, but that's okay. Cassel won't tell.]

Yeah, I know.

[Cassel sniffs. It's a sympathy sniff, shut up.]

You and your big macho wolfy ways. Big wolves don't cry.

You're not crying, anyway. So it doesn't matter.

[He could say something smarter. Something cool and empathetic and meaningful. But that's not the kind of person he is, and he's never had it in him. Instead he just hangs on and talks like a dumbass. Call it a gift.]

Exactly.

[His throat is tight, though, and his vision blurs just a little. Maybe he is crying. He doesn't care. They don't need big speeches or anything but this, really.

Cassel's gift is that he's solid, he's here, he's alive. And Scott has learned not to take that for granted in his friends.

Eventually, he coughs or sniffs, and claps Cassel on the back before pulling away. He's not okay, but he will be. He will be. If he tells it to himself often enough, it will become truth.]

( 012 ) Ω ( Video )

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