semifreakingnormal | ( 005 ) Ω ( Video )

[Scott hasn't been out and about lately, but the few who have seen him around will note that he looks better. A little less freaked, less drawn, less doubting why he's here. He looks solid again - and concerned.

And maybe a touch afraid because this is a big thing for him, okay.]

I'm a werewolf.

[Oh god he just said it this is huge-ish] I only have been for a few - I guess a couple months, now. I don't really know crap about it, but I know - I'm not that douche from the flood, or the other Barge, or whatever that was. I'm not an alpha. I couldn't turn anyone even if I wanted to and trust me - I really, really don't.

I know everyone's tired of apologies, but I just need to say it, for me. I'm not that guy. I'm nothing like that guy, cause that guy was like the psycho who bit me, and I don't ever want to be like him.

So. Okay. Thanks, I guess. And if you're going to like, grab pitchforks and torches or something, can you just let me know, first? And if you need me, I'm gonna be in the CES with some lacrosse stuff. [Which is his way of saying he's available for lighthearted sports fun if anyone needs to loosen up.]

[Filtered to all his friends, IF YOU THINK YOU ARE ON IT, YOU ARE!!]

I know it's a little late, but if we haven't talked yet can you just - let me know you're okay? Please?

[Do it, because anyone who doesn't respond will absolutely be hunted down.]

[Private to Elena]

I'm sorry. [Apologies are not hard for him: there is always something or other to apologize for, and Elena definitely, definitely deserves one. He attacked her, for no reason, he was a budding psycho, and maybe it wasn't him, but he doesn't think he could live with not apologizing.]

I know it's all messed up and that wasn't even really me, but I'm sorry. Can I, I dunno...can I do anything? Do you need anything?

[Spam for Cassel]

[Knock knock, buddy. Scott knows how to return a favor. He's got a six pack of beer in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the other.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My point is that you don't get my point. My point is you were a warden there too.

My point is, I'm angry.

Are you angry with me?

Think more generally.

I can't fix everything. I can't make you feel better if there's nothing I can do.

...I just want to know if there's anything I can. Do.

[He is starting to feel very lame.]

I get what it's like. Being vulnerable, and people being in power and you not be. I get that.

I don't believe you. You should tell me about it.

Are you saying that because you want to know, or because you want to find a way to use it against me?

Well, at least now you're starting to understand.

I don't want to hurt you. I guess I'm just curious. It's not a very good reason.

Okay.

[He pauses just to breathe, because he has no idea how to eave start. So he just does.]

Okay. I thought it was great at first. I'm faster, I'm stronger, my asthma's gone. But there's someone out there who's faster and stronger than me, and he was born, not bit. He knows more about what he is than I think I ever will, and he wants me to kill with him. He wants to turn me into something I don't want to be.

I dunno. Maybe it's not the same. It isn't, but - I think I get it.

Oh.

[She thinks about this.]

Do you want to kill him?

I don't know.

I was told that if I kill him, it might undo what I am. [He wants that. He wants it so badly. But.]

But I'm not a killer.

I never thought I was a killer either, until I was.

But you want to separate yourself from him.

[That is a good point he does not want to think about.]

I acted like him during the flood. I think, anyway. I don't know him that well.

But you're right. I don't want to be anything like him.

It's important to separate yourself from people who want to make you into something you're not. To distinguish yourself.

Yeah. You're right.

Do you...have something like that?

Yes. It's a work in progress.

You can understand why the other Barge set me back a little, maybe. I was being formed into something I wasn't.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

...I don't think that goes for inmates here. I mean, there's turning into something better....and turning into something worse.

I get to choose some things here. I get to decide my own future. Within certain limits. It's better.

Okay. Yeah. Definitely.

Do you mean you didn't get to on the other Barge or before this one?

Both. I . . . think I had more choice at home than on the other Barge, actually.

[She's never really thought about that before. That maybe she had a choice more subtle than kill them/don't kill them.]

Well I'm pretty sure the other Barge was like, total nightmare fuel. So I guess that makes sense.

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