semifreakingnormal | ( 011 ) Ω ( Video )

Entry tags:

( 011 ) Ω ( Video )

[Private to Jack]

Hey. Can we talk a minute?

[Filtered to friends, minus Stiles]

Hey, um. I'm going home for a little while. Probably for a while. [Like a year, maybe. 8|] But, uh. I can ask the Admiral to make it like, not long here, right? God, that's so weird. I just wanted to let you guys know.

[Private to Cassel]

Can you make sure Daneca knows? If she wakes up before I get back, I mean.

[Private to Stiles]

Are you in your room? [He is totally inviting himself over.]

[Public]

[Scott has been thinking about this for a while. It started during the last fourth wall, when Lydia talked him like a human being, or a friend, instead of the image he has of her in his head as Miss Thing, too popular to give him or Stiles the time of day. It started with her, with wondering what a future where being a werewolf is useful is like, with knowing that Allison won't hate him. Stiles showing up looking like death amped that curiosity up to a terrible churning in the pit of his stomach. If he can do something, he should. If he can help, he should.]

Hey, um. I'm going to be heading home for a little. [This is a lie, he's expecting a year to pass. He's just not at all sure how to say that while also saying 'I'll be back soon.'] I don't think it'll be too long, here. But I wanted to say something, just in case. So no one, like, freaks out if I just up and disappeared or something.

Uhh - oh yeah! Does anyone have any animal experience? I want to leave the clinic key with someone while I'm gone. I'll totally give them all their shots and flea stuff when I get back. And, if anyone wants anything from like, the tiniest, weirdest town in California, let me know.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He clicks the device off and turns to face the door right as he hears the knock, not surprised by the speed. He's already nervous because he knows Scott too well. Too. Well. And all of his senses are telling him he's not going to like whatever's about to happen.]

I'm all right. [And he is feeling a little better now, so that's definitely a plus. The headache still lingers and he's taken a LOT of aspirin in the last few days.]

What's going on?

[If Jack has to pump his stomach while Scott's gone, he's going to be super pissed. Dropping onto the bed, Scott does what he's always done with Stiles: he says the first thing that comes to mind.]

I'm gonna go home for a little while. [And because he knows Stiles too well, he tries to head off the argument.] I just think - I came here cause I was running away. I can't just run away from this stuff.

[Don't worry, Scott. He's not overdosing. He watches Scott drop onto the bed and he's not surprised by his words even though they make his stomach turn.]

Scott -- look. [He rubs his hands over his face because he needs to talk him out of this. His heart begins to beat a little quicker in his chest.]

Look, a lot of stuff -- it's not - it's not good. And it's, you're better off here, okay? You don't need to go back to that. Not now.

When, then? Stiles, when is a good time? You're - you're freaking out about stuff, I can hear your heartbeat, and you can't even tell me. I can't even - I don't even get what's going on, cause I haven't done it yet.

[He wants to be there for Stiles, but he can't like this. Not knowing - it just isn't working.]

I told you before, I can't just stay here forever.

I'm not freaking out about -- [He goes silent, because he can hear the resolve in Scott's voice and there's no point in denying that yes, he's messed up now. Really messed up. He swallows heavily, turning away.]

You didn't do anything, Scott. None of this is on you. None of...[He shakes his head, feeling like he's going to be ill. This isn't what he wants for his best friend. It's not what he wants for any of them. He feels tears sting his eyes and he quickly wipes them away.]

[God, that's the worst. It's uncomfortable. It's scary. Stiles is trying not to cry. When is the last time he saw Stiles cry?

Scott swallows, looks down at his hands for a minute. There's Peter to deal with. There's his mom to tell about what he is, now. There's Allison, and there's whatever is messing Stiles up. He's scared to find out what that is, but he can't avoid it forever. He can't help anyone, if he does that.]

I told you, Stiles. It'll be okay. We'll figure it out - whatever it is, dude. You always have a plan.

[He shuts his eyes tightly against the urge he has to beg Scott to reconsider this. He gets that Scott sees what he's done as running, even if he's been here helping people. He's always helping people because that's Scott.]

It's not. And I don't. Not always. [But he should have. He should have had a plan. His voice is barely audible now.] Sometimes you're better off not knowing what's coming.

[Scott hesitates a moment longer, but he's never been afraid of touch. He's never been afraid of comfort - and Stiles is clearly in need of that. Standing up, he moves to Stiles, rests a hand on his shoulder.]

I get it, man. You're trying to protect me.

[From whatever it is. Whatever's coming. He doesn't really want to think too hard about that.]

But it's time, Stiles. You can't just stop time. I have to go back eventually.

[Stiles has always been a very tactile kind of person, particularly with the people that he loves the most. His dad. Scott. Lydia. He remembers how often his mom used to touch people when she talked to them, and he's wondered from time to time if that's a genetic, instinctive thing or just learned behavior. He exhales at the feel of Scott's hand on his shoulder, comforting and familiar.]

It's bad, Scott.

[His voice is pained and he doesn't turn around to look at his friend. It's bad and it's his fault and he doesn't know how to try and prepare Scott for any of what he's going to find out or what his friend is going to go through, and he hates that he doesn't know how to get through to him on this. ]

Really bad.

[He doesn't say anything at first, just squeezes Stiles' shoulder. He can't say it's been bad before - he can't think of a time Stiles has ever been like this. Telling him it'll be okay just - isn't working.]

Sometimes it has to get bad before it can get better.

[He's not sure if it's true. But he knows that staying in the dark while Stiles suffers just isn't an option anymore. He has to find out. Then maybe he can help. Then maybe he can do something.]

Right?

[Because it won't be okay. No matter what kind of deal he's made, things will never really be okay again for any of the people that he cares about, even if it makes things better in some ways.

He wants to tell Scott that of course he's right, though. To reassure him, even if it's a lie. But he hates lying to Scott. He's the one person he feels genuinely guilty lying to. He turns to look at him instead, expression tired and resigned.]

I don't think so, Scottie. Not this time.

[He knows the question he should ask. And maybe Stiles will lie to protect him, maybe he'll blurt it out because the lie would hurt worse than it already does. It's chewing away at his stomach, but his mouth stays closed.

If someone's going to die, then he's going to do everything he can in order to stop it. Maybe knowing would make that easier, but - he doesn't want to know. It's selfish, maybe, but he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to make Stiles say it.]

I have to go back. [He says it like an apology. There isn't much left to do but apologize.]

[It hurts. The way he says the words hurts. Like he'll ever even have a reason to apologize to Stiles for the rest of his life. He doesn't. He won't.

Stiles nods slightly, chest tight with emotions he can barely contain. He opens his mouth to speak and then closes it again, lifting a hand and rubbing at his eyes.]

When? [His voice is strained.]

[Scott sits again, pressing his hands together between his knees.]

Today. I wanted to tell you first, and a couple other people. Then I'll let the Barge no, and go. [It feels like the right thing to do. He hopes it is.]

[Today. Today. The word echoes in his mind and he's suddenly very, very tired and he sits down in his desk chair. He stares down at his hands for a long moment before looking up at Scott again.]

When people go back -- do they usually remember stuff from here? I mean, if -- if you go back, will you even remember having been on the Barge?

[Scott waits him out, watching and silent. He wants to help. He wants to do something, and all he can do is sit here and wait for Stiles to be ready to talk again.]

I don't know. I mean - I think sometimes people do. But not always.

[He swallows heavily at that and leans back in his desk chair. He was kind of afraid that would be the answer. Fifty-fifty chance.]

Then just in case. I'm really sorry. [He looks down again, voice thick with emotion.]

[Scott is still, but his eyes stay on Stiles. He's already shaking his head, though, and he knows that what he thinks right now is never going to change.]

Stiles, whatever it is, I can't hold anything against you. [His stomach churns. How bad must it be, for Stiles to feel the need to apologize to him?]

[Scott's reaction to his apology doesn't surprise him at all. He doesn't know what else to say. What do you say when your best friend is about to go through hell and you can't do anything to stop him or talk him out of it?]

Yeah. I know. I know you don't. [He rises to his feet, feeling the need to pace.]

[It's still so weird, to see Stiles with hair. To see him look this stressed, this much older, this - different. So he doesn't say anything for a while, watching the other boy pace instead.

He doesn't know what to say. He's pretty sure there's nothing left to say. So he gets up, reaches out for Stiles' arm and pulls him in for a hug.]

[The hug only catches him off guard for a brief second and then he hugs him back tightly, tears stinging his eyes again so he closes them quickly, holding his breath. He doesn't know how this all works, really. If Scott will end up coming back here. How long it will be if he does. How he'll be if he does. It scares him. When he speaks again, his voice is barely audible. Wouldn't be audible to anyone without super-powered hearing. It's not something he says often to Scott even if he means it, and he does mean it. It just feels like he needs to say it now, even if he hasn't said it since after that night at the Glen Capri and he's not even sure Scott heard it or if he'd been asleep. And this Scott hasn't even lived through that horrifying experience yet and just thinking of all the terrible things that he's going to be going through makes him feel sick.]

I love you.

[And now he's said it and he hopes it doesn't worry Scott even more because before the Glen Capri the last time he said it was after Scott's dad took off.]

[He remembers that night. He remembers the way his hands shook when he dialed Stiles' number, the way he tried not to cry, tried to pretend he didn't care, but of course he did, and of course he was afraid, and of course Stiles was the one to help him. He remembers falling asleep with the phone still on, holding it like a lifeline, because even if his dad didn't love him enough to stay, Stiles would never leave.

It makes his throat tighten, now, and he has to breathe slowly through his nose to keep it from getting worse. His arms tighten, but he's careful not to squeeze too tight, now, careful not to hurt him. He doesn't want to leave Stiles here, but he doesn't want him to be alone like this, either. The best thing he can do - the only thing he can really do is find out what happens, catch up, and then just be here for Stiles.

It's that, or sit here in limbo. And he can't do that.]

I love you too, man.

[After a long moment, Stiles pulls away, taking a deep, shaky breath and just looks at Scott. He tries to smile but doesn't quite manage it, because this is it. Scott's leaving and going home and his life is going to be jacked all to hell in so many different ways.]

Is uh -- is there anything I should do while you're gone? I mean, I don't know. Anything you want or need me to do?

[Scott clears his throat a little as they part, scratches at his eye to make sure there's no dampness h needs to wipe away.]

No, dude, don't - actually-- [He pauses for a second, then looks up at Stiles again.] Can you like, keep an eye on Jack for me? He probably won't need it, but. Just in case.

[Stiles nods slightly. Jack seems like an okay guy to him and if that's what Scott needs him to do, he'll do it.]

Yeah, of course. I can do that. It's no problem.