( 006 ) Ω ( Video )

[semifreakingnormal]

[Scott has the most absurd bedhead and the most confused look on his face as the video clicks on. His hair is sticking up at literally every possible end, and in front of him, he's holding up two keys.]

Hhhh--hi. [That's a big yawn, and he shakes himself, blinking hard.] Was someone in my room? I don't think these keys are mine.

[He hasn't realized how long it's been. He also hasn't realized he's holding the animal clinic keys. Soon he will be so excited.]

And, uh, I'm pretty sure I didn't have one of these before. [Keys down, he reaches off screen and then holds up a nutcracker, fiddling with its lever so hits jaw opens and closes.]

[Private to Riddick]

[And forward dated to after he finds out...] Hey! There's a clinic! The Admiral came through!

[Private to the Admiral]

Um, I haven't done one of these since...well pretty much since my dad told me there was no Santa Claus. It just kind of like, seems like a good idea? Okay, so here it goes.

Cassel should get like, a case of Campari. And I dunno, maybe like...A family photo? Of his brother, or something? Having him here and then going must suck.

Peter definitely needs some like, bullet proof suit. That's a thing, isn't it? Doesn't Batman have something like that? Whatever, his costume totally needs bulletproofing.

Chris needs friendship bracelets. And like, a note saying 'from your BFF Scott. Give him one.'

Snow White...dude, I have no idea what you get a queen. Especially when she's Snow White. I mean. Probably not apples, right? Yeah, definitely not apples. What about like...something of her dad's? Only if it's not gonna upset her, though.

Megamind should totally get a side trip to see his boyfriend.

Alex needs a full set of lacrosse equipment. He's gonna help me make a team, he just doesn't know it yet.

Can Elena have like...geez, I don't know. She's such a bitch sometimes. Maybe, like...ice skates? Or. I'm almost afraid to say something to remind her of someone she misses...

Anya needs a cute zombie doll or something.

Then there's Abigail. Should, um...maybe a fishing rod? [With lures made of something other than human hair maybe 8|]

Mal needs a guide on how to break news gently. But also, like. Black lipstick and eyeliner and drumsticks or something because she is seriously badass in a kind of scary way.

Can you get Zane some like, really good books on rabbit care? And maybe a mate for Dani. I think they get lonely unbonded.

Iris definitely needs a lifetime supply of her favorite vodka or something. She does stuff in the spa, right? Can you get her supplies for that? Fancy stuff.

Bruce I can't believe Bruce Banner is on my Christmas list - what about like, Rock Em Sock Em Robots? And maybe those like Hulk Smash gloves but not....Hulk-y.

Archer needs lacrosse equipment, too. And a jersey that says 'ON SCOTT'S TEAM.'

Riddick, um...something for his....dog. [If that is in fact what it is.]

For Lark - man, I don't know, this stuff is so weird. A chewtoy? No, that's totally mean. Something from home. Maybe not like, his old pack, but...something nice.

Kara needs movies. Like, a lot of movies. From the twenty-first century.

Daneca should....uhm...I dunno. A really nice pair of gloves? Some books on like, law and, uhhh, politics and...activism or something? Ones she hasn't read. Or ones she's missing. I don't know. 'Daneca for President' buttons???

Dean. Dean needs...[He's actually almost gulping and squaring his shoulders.] Those wolfsbane bullets that Kate Argent had. He needs those. Just - just in case.

And Sylvanas needs an iPod filled with music. Modern music. And I guess some classical. Maybe some modern instrumental stuff?

I think that's - no wait, Nathan needs lacrosse gear, too. This is totally gonna happen.

Comments

[myresponsibility]

Dude, that's kind of concerning. Welcome back.

[semifreakingnormal]

I'm too tired to be freaked. But I feel like I should be freaked.

[myresponsibility]

Maybe a little. Was it covered in blood or anything?

[semifreakingnormal]

What? No.

...

Did you get one covered in blood?

[myresponsibility]

No. I'm just saying, it could be worse.

Private + Selena

[with_my_teacup]

Excellent-!

Hey, Selena, get on filter, you know that job we were talking about?

Give me the details, kid.

Private + Selena

[semifreakingnormal]

Oh, uh, it's pretty simple. Kennels and an exam table and stuff. And there's a bunch of medicines here too.

Re: Private + Selena

[with_my_teacup]

You can still use that extra set of hands?

Private + Selena

[semifreakingnormal]

Yeah! Yeah, as long as we get patients.

[mistconduct]

It's a nutcracker. But it must be a mistake because I didn't think you had any nuts to crack, bro.

[semifreakingnormal]

Hahah.

Wait, did you put it in here?

[mistconduct]

Scotty, if I was breaking into your room to put stuff there, you can bet your ass it'd be something a little worse than a nutcracker.

[semifreakingnormal]

That actually makes a lot of sense.

[deshabille]

What a charming and clearly possessed wooden toy.

[She is joking! Or is she. (Yes.)]

Hello again.

[semifreakingnormal]

.............Hi.

[What the fuck Mal, you are like, the worst 'welcome back to being awake' committee ever, who elected you.]

It's not possessed, it's just a nutcracker. [RIGHT???]

[deshabille]

You don't sound very sure about that. Better have it checked.

[nyeheHEHEHEH]

[semifreakingnormal]

Mal has anyone told you you're like, the creepiest person to wake up and talk to?

[patheticvillain]

. . . You need to find a hairbrush. Like now.

[semifreakingnormal]

Huh?

[He prods at his hair, then cranes his head around to check the bathroom mirror.] Oh. Wow. [Now he's running both hands through his hair. It's not helping.]

[patheticvillain]

That's so incredibly not working. Try, like, a steel pick.

[semifreakingnormal]

I didn't know my hair could do this. [He gives up and just scrubs at his head.]

[ Private : Video ]

[andyougoleft]

[Have someone who looks absolutely flabbergasted.

Okay maybe that's a little strong. But Slevin has slapped a hand to his forehead with an appropriately pole-axed expression.]

Holy crap, THERE they are. I've been looking for those for days! Did anyone admit to being in your room? I don't even know who took them.

[Goddammit Slevin.]

[ Private : Video ]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Goddamnit, Slevin.]

No, no one's said anything. They're yours? [SQUINT. He can't hear Slevin's heartbeat from here.]

[ Private : Video ]

[andyougoleft]

[Like that isn't intentional.

Okay, it's not, but it would be if he were used to thinking about fooling werewolves. He certainly looks convincing, smiling sheepishly.]

Yeah, uh. I haven't been able to get into my closet for like, three days. Good thing I already had my jacket out of it or I'd be screwed.

[ Private : Video ]

[semifreakingnormal]

How did they get in my room? That's kinda weird. [WHO WOULD BREAK IN TO LEAVE KEYS? Is he being framed? Maybe he's being framed. He can't actually tell.]