You can't know. [He's torn between the desire for restless movement and the need to just take strength from this kind of closeness.]

I could've just killed her faster, I...it's not like I've ever...

[He heard about what happened to the girl Derek liked, when he was a kid. He knows he could've made it just as bad for Allison, because he has no idea what could cause that.]

I just. I don't want to force this on anyone else.